I must be too annoying 4 u.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
