Duck Duck Cougar?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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