but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
