also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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