so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
