I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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