You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
