yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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