I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Come see our sink grown plant.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
