Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
