I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
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What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
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I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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