I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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