Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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