It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
