Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
