Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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