It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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