she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
