Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
