Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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