did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize