for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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