I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Randomize
