Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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