Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize