Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize