yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
accomplished twins. life is a go
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
