i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
