you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
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