I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
