so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
