We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.