Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me