Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire