I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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