When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
