You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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