dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
My balls are so social today.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
