Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
be right there i have to get my cape
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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