he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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