yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
my liver is dry heaving
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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