I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
