So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
