i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
