You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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