So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
