Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Randomize
