I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
