Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
