he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
only you would photoshop your dick
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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