i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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