my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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