wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
