She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize