There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Randomize