He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
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