I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
