I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
