He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
