you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
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