Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
